Potus Geeks: Poetry Corner

(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

Twas the day of election, and all through the nation
The creatures were stirring at each tv station
The networks all filled with anchors with big hair
Hoping Ohio election returns soon would be there.



The candidates rested, results to await,
Obama slept like he did in his first debate.
And Romney was resting, his energy spent
Dreaming of numbers bigger than 47 per cent.

Paul Ryan was bench pressing, grunting and snarky
Not Biden, he thought “what a bunch of Malarkey”
When on the east coast, there arose such a clatter,
Wolf Blitzer broke in to see what was the matter.

“We interrupt this program” he said with such drama,
“Chris Christie is here, and he’s voting Obama!”
The networks had pundits who were all in the know
Giving luster from mid-day till returns began to show.



And what to TV watchers glazed eyes should appear,
A panel of experts spinning spin to their peers
With an old moderator, so angry and wiley,
It was either Chris Matthews or else Bill O’Reilly

They interviewed experts, who gave their opinion
Who ventured an answer in every dominion
Rick Perry said “here’s 10 states where Romney’d do best”
He remembered the first two, but forgot all the rest

There was Axelrod, Gingrich, Huckabee and Spitzer,
Rachel Maddow, Rush Limbaugh, Gwen Ifall, Wolf Blitzer
They talked about polling and national debts,
They talked about Libya, horses and bayonets

They talked of Obamacare, of cats rich and fat
Donald Trump loudly braying “you didn’t build that!”
They talked late into night, about nothing of note
Waiting to see how Florida and Ohio would vote

Next they interviewed Mitt, a win he projected!
And all of his answers Candy Crowley corrected
For Barack all the questions they asked were much easia
And when he couldn’t answer, he pleaded Romnesia.

When all of a sudden the polls closed back east
Soon returns would come in, on the numbers we’d feast
New Hampshire a swing state that we’d need to watch
It was five votes apiece in Old Dixville Notch



Then suddenly voting results quickly flew
From all of the close states, Pennsylvania too!
And late into the night, it was well after dinner
When CBS said “we’ve projected a winner!”

“We know who has won this, we actually do!
“And we wish we could tell you, but someone would sue!”

It was late in December, no hockey for sport,
As the parties all gathered on the steps of the court.
“We’re here in Ohio, and this stuff isn’t funny.
We could be here for weeks, send lawyers and money!”



We don’t know how it ends yet, nor do Sasha or Malia,
If you want the answer ask Roberts and Scalia.
But don’t fret too hard, it will drive you insane,
Get ready for 2016, when it’s Cuomo v. Cain!